Emotions

How To Understand, Identify and Release Your Emotions

What Are Emotions – Feelings?

Different people define emotions in different ways. Some make a distinction between emotions and feelings saying that a feeling is the response part of the emotion and that an emotion includes the situation or experience, the interpretation, the perception, and the response or feeling related to the experience of a particular situation.  For the purposes of this article, I use the terms interchangeably.

John D. (Jack) Mayer says, “Emotions operate on many levels.  They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological aspect.  Emotions bridge thought, feeling, and action – they operate in every part of a person, they affect many aspects of a person, and the person affects many aspects of the emotions.”

Dr. Maurice Elias says, “Emotions are human beings’ warning systems as to what is really going on around them.  Emotions are our most reliable indicators of how things are going on in our lives.  Emotions help keep us on the right track by making sure that we are led by more than the mental/ intellectual faculties of thought, perception, reason, memory.”

Other People, Places, and Things Cannot Change How You Feel

  The only person who can change what you feel is you.  A new relationship, a new house, a new car, a new job, these things can momentarily distract you from your feelings, but no other person, no material possession, no activity can remove, release, or change how you feel. 

  How often do you hear people say things like “when I have enough money, I won’t be afraid anymore”, only to find there never seems to be enough money to stop being afraid.   Or “when I’m in a secure relationship I won’t feel lonely any more”, and finding they are still lonely regardless of their relationship.   We need to understand that we take our feelings with us wherever we go.  A new dress, a new house, a new job, none of these things change how we feel.  Our feelings remain within us until we release them. 

Two Basic Emotions In Life – Love and Fear

 There are only two basic emotions that we all experience, love and fear.  All other emotions are variations of these two emotions.  Thoughts and behavior come from either a place of love, or a place of fear.  Anxiety, anger, control, sadness, depression, inadequacy, confusion, hurt, lonely, guilt, shame, these are all fear-based emotions.  Emotions such as joy, happiness, caring, trust, compassion, truth, contentment, satisfaction, these are love-based emotions. 

  There are varying degrees of intensity of both types of emotions, some being mild, others moderate, and others strong in intensity.  For example, anger in a mild form can be felt as disgust or dismay, at a moderate level can be felt as offended or exasperated, and at an intense level can be felt as rage or hate. And the emotion that always underpins anger is fear.

How To Release Emotions 

Don’t be afraid of your emotions.  Don’t fight them, run away from them, and block them out.  Welcome them, be with them, regardless of what they are.  We were born with all emotions.  They are neither good or bad, they just are.  Emotions dissipate and slowly disappear if you feel them, and are present with them.   Just close your eyes and feel them as deeply as you can.

By Mary Kurus

Copyright Mary Kurus 2003

All Rights Reserved